When Dementia Visits A Marriage

Virginia Beach pastor Harold Burchett and his wife Jane. Harold opens his soul to the reader as he respectfully and lightheartedly tells the story of caring for his wife through her agonizing descent into dementia. This book is not about whether Harold should become a fulltime caregiver for his sick wife. He made that decision on his wedding day. This is a book about 

I especially appreciated the scene where Harold sits on the couch weeping and wondering whether his daily bathing, grooming and dressing of Jane pleases God. Jane always kept herself looking nice. Was he maintaining her standard? Another key moment is Harold’s frustration with Jane’s leaving the dinner table to wander around the house. He had worked so hard to prepare the meal – an arduous task for a man unaccustomed to kitchen duties – and now it was getting cold. And then Harold remembered all the times he did the same thing to Jane by coming home late from work. But Harold’s most gripping story comes when he’s cleaning Jane in the middle of the night after an accident in bed. She resists his care and pounds his head with her fists. Harold hears Jesus say,

"My child you have resisted my efforts to wash your needy heart and life. How many times have I had to overcome your resistance to the fresh, clean spiritual apparel I have brought for you? You also have punched your Beautician! Who are you to wilt in self-pity and withdraw from the very schooling you so need!" 

Who should read this book? Everyone from engaged couples to singles to romance readers to dads looking for a family vacation read aloud. Harold shows us that by falling more in love with Jesus, we fall more in love with our spouse. Maybe after reading this book Harold will become your hero too.

Melissa Stiles attends Bear Creek Church in Medford, Oregon