The Oprahfication of America

It’s "Women’s Faith & Spirit", a new magazine from the Better Homes and Gardens people (you know, better than your home and your garden).

My wife and I picked it up in a shopping trip to a local grocery store. Out for huge quantities of food, we visited the larger discount store in town, the one with rack after rack of tabloid and celebrity magazines and that shopper who’s always yelling at her kids every time I go there.

We saw it there at the checkstand. The name captured our attention, as did the cover photo of First Lady Laura Bush ("Laura Bush: How Her Faith Keeps Her Strong"), a woman we have respected. Teasers included "Exclusive Interview with Lisa Beamer" and "Put Your Family First!"

Being people who want to put family early, if not first, and being admirers of Lisa Beamer, we were intrigued. We bought the magazine, took it home, and looked at it carefully. Only then did we realize that either this is a humor magazine, or the best new attempt to market pop religion to the segment of America most emotionally influenced by daytime television.

How else might you describe a periodical that includes spiritual advice from deep thinkers Britney Spears, Marie Osmond, Jennifer Aniston and Kathy Ireland. Here’s a sample from theologue Maya Angelou:

"The most delicious piece of knowledge for me is that I am a child of God. That is so mind boggling, that this ‘it’ created everything, and I am a child of ‘it.’ It means I am connected to every thing and every body."

Whoa. May "it" help her (memo to Maya – review Commandments 1, 2 and 3).

There’s more. In between that family-first article and "Three Bad Girls of the Bible" (the "Cosmo" influence, I guess), you’ll find a piece on the soothing effects of rocks called "The Spirit of Stone:"

Totem stones can serve as important reminders and touchstones in our daily lives. They possess a mystical spiritual power, working as teachers, protectors, and healers. It is believed that stones take with them the energies of their origins, so choose stones from places having the energy you want.

I guess they’re assuming the rocks in the author’s head won’t do! Her article begins:

From standstone to shale, granite to quartz, stones are timeless, uniquely appealing, reassuringly weighty and dense.

Yeah, like our readers!

If any doubt as to the idolatrous, blasphemous, syncretistic aims of the publisher is left, note this manifesto from the "Special Report: Why Women Need Faith:"

Today, spiritual fulfillment can come in any of a number of ways, and many try a mix-and-match approach to find what works best for them: attending Bikram yoga or sunrise tai chi classes, walking through ‘meditation mazes,’ journal writing, dancing or study groups.

Me, I’ll stick to good, old-fashioned idol worship, thank you very much. Right after the next episode of Oprah.

Copyright 2003 Dale K. Meador, Jr.