How A Little Boy Changed Nancy Meador
She almost didn’t make it through the first day. But she did, and it changed everything
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Our forever connection to Joni and Friends Family Retreats began when Anne was 12 - almost 6 years ago. I was looking for ways for us to serve as a Mom/daughter team and I have long wanted my daughter to feel comfortable around others who struggle with disabilities. I also wanted her to grow up not thinking she was the center of the universe. So we volunteered for our local JAF chapter at the Sometimes Miracles Hide luncheon honoring the moms, and a carnival for their kids with disabilities as well as the siblings in the spring. I worked in the nursery and Anne was involved in the carnival so I wondered how she might be interacting with the kids for the 4 hours I didn’t see her. I figured she would either be put off and uncomfortable and never want to do it again OR she would enjoy the opportunity. Fortunately, it was the latter. Not only did she love the experience, but she asked if we could both serve at the Joni and Friends Family Retreat that summer.
I was glad she had a good time, but I gulped at the thought of working with her at family retreat. She might have felt very comfortable and eager, but it was way out my comfort zone. I agreed that it would be good for her, but I wasn’t so sure it would be for me. Thankfully, her enthusiasm prodded me forward and we got the approval for Anne to serve with me as a team as STMs (Short Term Missionaries) at the Joni and Friends Family Retreat at Mission Springs, near Santa Cruz, California.
The first day seemed all good with the training. I can do this, I thought. I have had 3 kids of my own, took care of my mom who battled cancer, have been a pastor’s wife for many years, worked with lots of other kids through the years, worked in doctor offices so medical stuff didn’t bother me. But then I got the history of our assigned camper, Sam. I remember my heart breaking for all of his severe physical challenges, and it made my physical challenges from a number of neck surgeries seem so miniscule. And then I thought of his wonderful parents. That made the tears flow. I went to the pay phone that night to call my husband to tell him about our camper who would arrive the next day. He was surprised to hear me say that I didn’t think I could do it while choking back tears - I explained that my mother’s heart was too tender even before meeting Sam and his family. The task seemed overwhelming. Anne on the other hand, was more excited than ever. So my husband and I agreed that as always, I would cling to Phil. 4:13 ("I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me") knowing that God had provided up to that point and must have us there for a reason.
The rest is a story of God’s faithfulness. Sam and his family (Cheryl, Rob and Sam - his baby brother Toby not yet born) had an amazing impact on our lives. We thought we were going to "bless" them. Instead they blessed us in ways that have shaped and molded not only our lives, but the lives of one of our sons (who called his week as an STM at another Joni and Friends Family Retreat one of the best weeks of his life) and my husband (who, after overcoming his own squeamishness has been an STM twice and will be a Camp Pastor this summer), and dozens of people in our church who have also gone to serve at camp, and a wonderful, brand new disability ministry in our church body. All because of how God used Sam’s family, and especially Sam, to teach us about the importance of every person being made in God’s image. Really, after the first day with Sam, my focus shifted from his many physical challenges to marveling at God’s big plan that was so mysterious and wonderful, and yet very reassuring that he was wiser and more powerful than I could ever imagine.
Sam’s family is unique, but maybe I am biased because they are the ones who God used to teach me valuable lessons. From the moment I met them, they exuded enthusiasm for Sam. Not only were they grateful for every new day with Sam, but also to be at camp and encouraging Sam with the new environment as well as reaching out to new friends. They treated Sam with the same love and attention as any parent but I recognized that they didn’t take even a smile for granted. They took Sam everywhere with them all through the year. Camp was no exception even though they had to haul all the special equipment , bring special food, train newbies like us to care for Sam, and still take turns getting up during the night to turn Sam at regular intervals since he can’t do that himself. I was amazed with their incredible attitudes in the face of such tiring and daunting tasks. I wondered how they met such daily challenges without becoming overwhelmed. I wondered how they could maintain a marriage with such challenges. At mealtimes, I loved being able to feed Sam (in my inexperienced way) and give them a break from the routine - even though his parents didn’t seem to mind either way. It wasn’t like they wanted to get away, but instead were thankful for the help. I was so grateful that they engaged in conversation with Anne and I, asking us questions about our life and sharing their lives openly in return. They taught us so much about persevering through trials and trusting God for every minute and recognizing his complete sovereignty in the birth of their precious son. They actually lived that reality and didn’t say that glibly. They were the ones living out Phil. 4:13 and I was learning from them what that really means. I don’t think either one of us realized at the time what God was doing putting us together. Providentially, Anne and I were headed in a new direction after meeting Sam and his family.
God used Sam to light the fire under us to get other people involved in supporting these precious families who He has blessed with the task of caring for family members with disabilities. They are Jesus like with their servant attitudes. We saw the huge need for not only serving at camp, but all throughout the year in our local church. Like most parents, they don’t want to give up their responsibilities and love for their kids, but they just need breaks and an opportunity to talk with other parents in similar situations. We drove the 7 hours back home after camp dreaming about what God might do in our church, how to go about encouraging others, and hoping we could return to camp the following year. By God’s grace, hard work saving money and the gifts of our church, we have returned to camp many more times as well as serving at respite days for families in our community. Each time we leave exhausted, but incredibly blessed by the families we serve and looking forward to the next opportunity.
We’ll always have a special place in our hearts, though, for Sam.
Nancy Meador
Read more about Sam, and see pictures of his family, here.
Find out how your life might be changed at a Joni and Friends Family Retreat here.
Read about Bear Creek Church’s Disability Ministry here.
Written By: Nancy Meador
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Copyright 2010 by Pastor Dale Meador. You are encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided you dont charge for it or alter the wording and include this statement on any posted or distributed copy: "By Nancy Meador and posted at www.pastordale.com." Thank you.
